What is This Feeling So Sudden and New?

I hate it when you have no idea what emotion you're feeling, or the reason you're feeling it. All I know is right now, it's not the best feeling... And on top of the weird feeling, I have all these things that I want to do, but at the same time I really don't want to. It's like, I want to curl up into a little ball and sleep for the rest of my life, but I also don't.

There are certain things that kind of feel like a force feild around me, and although I know part of me wants to get rid of those things, another part of wants to keep them. It's like if I just get rid of them, I'll be out in the open and vulnerable. This isn't really the best analogy but it's the closest I can get to putting it in words ^^;

I don't know, maybe this is what depression feels like? I really don't think I'm depressed, but maybe I am?

And the worst part: I have NO idea what caused this.

Well, I do have some idea (I'm pretty sure I know the general cause) but I have no idea what the specific reason is. I don't even feel like talking, which is really weird for me.

I think I'll watch Kirarin Revolution. It's such a mindless and cute show! Then I'll listen to Evanescence when I'm falling asleep. It's weird how intense music like that makes me feel better when I'm sad while happy music makes me feel worse.

Or maybe I'll do some singing. That usually makes me feel better (not always though, depends on how cooperative my voice is being that day. Haha.)

(I am trying very hard right now not to fill this post with smileys, I usually use them A LOT XD Oh, look one slipped out ^^; ... and another one)

Everyone should also check out my youtube account! sagashiteXsearching.

Anyways, I suddenly feel a lot better. Not really sure why, but I'm not complaining! I have to go do homework now (suprise suprise) I'll post again soon!