Stupid Things I Thought When I Was Little

As the title of this post already so kindly tells you for me, this is just a list of the stupid/cute/funny things I thought when I was little. It's more for me to remember when I look back on this in thirty years (pshaw, like the internet will even be around in 30 years, will all BE computers by then, but that's a whole different story) but if anyone wants to read a lot of people find them quite humorous. So here we go!

Stupid Things I Thought When I Was Little

1)If you got married you'd automatically become pregnant but you could have a special type of marriage so that you wouldn't. I'm still not sure how I wrapped my mind around people having kids before marriage or having multiple children.

2)Amsterdam was called Hamsterdance (or Hamsterdam) like the song.

3)Hamster was spelled Hampster (I actually thought this until last year I think -.-)

4)Austria and Australia were the same place

5)I'd fall in love once and never fall out of it.

6)Santa had helpers that worked at all the malls. (Home Alone anybody?)

7)When you're driving, the car moves because you're hands are on the steering wheel. When my dad took his hands off and the car still moved I was very confused.

8)Dead ends were dangerous cliffs.

9)The wind that blows on you if the window is open while the car is moving was the air conditioning. I once asked my mom to turn it off.

10)It was windshield not windchill.

11)It sounded better for O to come before N in the alphabet.

12)Counting by 2's was the hardest thing ever.

13)Everyone that spoke different languages translated it to English in their head in order to understand it.

14)Once you became an adult all your character flaws disappeared.

15)Days were shorter in the winter because the earth spun faster.

16)I had tan skin, brown hair, and blue eyes.

17)When I was 7, I'd be old.

18)Being a cowgirl is a career.

19)a. Sex was kissing while naked (thought at age 6)
b. Sex was more than that but nothing ever went inside anything (thought at age 8)

20)You gave birth through the same hole you pee out of.

21)If I did the exercises on the "Pregnant Women Exercises" VHS tape my mom had, then I would get pregnant. (I did one of them once and was terrified to tell my mom because I thought I was preggers.)

22)Girls had little penises. I'm serious. I mean really think about it and you'll get where I was coming from.

23)Mom would read my diary. As revenge I'd write things in their that weren't true to purposefully freak her out. But on the same page I'd also write "Mom, this is just to freak you out" just in case she thought it was actually true.

I'll add more if I think of any, but this list is a lot longer than I thought it would be...